Friday, September 14, 2007

Cook Your Own Log Standard in 30 Minutes or Less

Remember the classic about underpants gnomes business plan, specifically:
  1. "Collect Underpants
  2. ???
  3. Profit!"
Here is similar guide, inspired by a recent vendor monkey activity:
  1. Register a domain, which includes "open" and "log" and something else ( - it MUST be a .org! - will do just peachy).
  2. Put some content up that explains that you will concur the world and also solve the hard problem of log standardization in the process; do NOT - I repeat, NOT! - forget to utter the dreaded "C-word" of immense power - compliance.
  3. Create a PDF document describing one of the existing log formats, such as as syslog or W3C (but do change a few minor things around, just for fun!). The key here is low embarrassment value. If you are smart, you'd also say "taxonomy" at least once.
  4. Code a convenient "show me yours and I will show you mine" page to collect the info of those who want to download the above PDF (you can't be too open, you know!)
  5. Issue a press release that claims that you have achieved god-like status and everybody in the whole worldzoo supports you and is just as excited.
  6. ???
  7. Profit?!
OK now. MITRE CEE log standard effort might be slow (make that reeeeeeally slow...), but it is here and there is active work being done on this real standard. Why embarrass yourself with a fake standard at this point is totally beyond me ...

UPDATE: one of my readers suggested that I need a picture of underpants to go with it, but - you know what? - it would be ... below me :-)

UPDATE2: if you care to see more factual analysis of this "standard," go here where a new rift of an asshole is being ripped right through its center :-)

UPDATE3: another great analysis of this so-called "standard" is here. I wish I can also quote what some smart people on the CEE mailing list said about it :-)

Dr Anton Chuvakin