Wednesday, April 01, 2009

100% Protection from Confickr Revealed!


Recently, it was brought to my attention that security researchers have finally revealed the best, 100% effective method to be protected from Confickr malware. Specifically, the malware “incorporates a Ukraine-avoidance routine that causes the process to suicide if the keyboard language layout has been set to Ukrainian.” I suddenly realized that there has got to be some deep security truth in such “Ukraine-avoidance” and there are lessons to be learned.

Thus, it came to me that the only way to reliably kill the malware (or, more precisely, to cause it “to suicide”) is for all of us to become more Ukrainian and then have the evil malware avoid us.






Hereby as of 4/1/2009, I am switching to Ukrainian keyboard layout on all my work and home systems, including those running Windows and Linux (ah, just in case, you can never be “too safe”). I am uninstalling the US English keyboard layout and will perform all the communication with the world using the keyboard that looks like this:







In the unlikely event that such degree of Ukrainian-ness will prove insufficient for 100% malware protection, I promise to route all the TCP/IP communication thru Ukrainian proxies and, in the event of a true malware cyber-apocalypse, will consider moving to Ukraine altogether.


Obviously, I call for all my blog readers to do the same:

Be 100% safe from malware! – Increase your Ukraine-ness to safe levels! - Switch to Ukrainian keyboard layout TODAY!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

April fools joke on a security blog? That's too bad.

Dr Anton Chuvakin