Beer + long train ride + academic papers on security (!) = this piece of bizarre humor.
Funny, hopefully fictitious, security roles [any matches with reality are mere coincidences]:
- Experienced cloud security veteran
- Innovative SOX auditor
- Fork bomb prevention expert [A.C. – inspired by a security “research” paper from 2009 about a new method to detect and prevent fork() bombs on Unix]
- Massive DoS detection specialist
- Open source Windows security expert
- DOS security architect
- Professional sniffer sniffer [A.C. – inspired by a security “research” paper from 2009 which invents new method to detect sniffers, BUT only those that emit (!) packets]
- Syslog psychic reader
- Legendary NAC security guru [A.C. – inspired by Unicorns, of course]
- Executive security reverse engineer
Care to continue this meme? Get some beer and then read a random paper on security written by somebody from a University who never dealt with a single real security problem in his life…
UPDATE: I am copying what was suggested by my esteemed readers from comments to the main post. Enjoy!
Suggested by toxa:
- Metasploit Certified Security Auditor
- Advanced Wireshark Network Analyst
- PCI DSS Clause 11.3 Guru [A.C. - loved this one!]
- Experienced Layer2 Attacks Specialist
- Famous Oracle App XSS Researcher
- Professional Web Applications Written In PHP Pentester
Suggested by Christophe:
- Experienced Password Policy Compliance Manager [A.C. - this one is awesome!!]
- Armed Layer 1 Attacks Specialist
- Veteran ITIL Conformity Observer
- User's Stupidity Documentation Writer
- Senior Unplugged Cables Auditor [A.C. - senior, no less! :-)]
- 2000 Bug Reappearance Sentry
