Read it and ROFL, then ROFLMAO :-)
"Bruce Schneier can conduct secure multiparty computation... on his own.
Bruce Schneier mounts side-channel attacks through the front channel.
Bruce Schneier's discrete logarithms are uncountable and continuous
Bruce Schneier knows Alice and Bob's shared secret.
Bruce Schneier memorizes his one time pads.
Bruce Schneier's secure handshake is so strong, you won't be able to exchange keys with anyone else for days.
When he was three, Bruce Schneier built an Enigma machine out of Legos.
Bruce Schneier once found the inverse of a trapdoor function counting only on the fingers of one hand.
When Bruce Schneier does modulo arithmetic, there are no remainders. Ever.
When Bruce Schneier uses double ROT13 encryption, the ciphertext is totally unbreakable.
Bruce Schneier can straighten out an elliptic curve with nothing but his teeth."